:I always thought you were beautiful.

"well, thanks... but i'm sure there's a 'however"

:yes, yes there is. I can't stand you.

"knew it."

:sorry. you are a jellyfish. you are spineless. It annoys me.

"your bluntness is so damn refreshing. I'm aware i appear to be spineless, but i've dealt with you for how many years? so maybe i'm not as spineless as i look."


.....


:you're recording this aren't you?

"Of course. ...Looks like for once someone is lacking wit."

oddest holiday ever.

it's just me and the 3 of you,
all staring at each other:
thinking about the people that are missing.

high. high. high, how ya doin?

I'm so far.
How did i place more distance?
there is a void, a large crack, that is peeling.
its peeling at the joints. the bones are cracking.
its given under, fallen apart, devilish game.
they transcend under a holy light, breaking apart my morning light

it was treason
attempt at cutting the soul.
so many odd play things so many ways to come across two and two.

i am a pure love-thing.
red thing,
blue thing
play thing
love thing.
pure. purest. purer. so pure. just white light.
light just beyond the embryo. hoping for new birth.
clean slate. a start all over.
come on: like, like, like, like...love?

"Maybe you are being taken advantage of, maybe the activity you are engagaed in is tedious, maybe someone close to you is dishonest, irritating, or unconscious, but all this is irrelevant. Either stop doing what you are doing, speak to the person concerned and express fully what you feel, or drop the negativity that your mind has created around the situation and that serves no purpose whatsoever except to strengthen a false sense of self." - power of now

stepping on glass

This year has been like a mountain.
My dreams are getting worse, if I don't sleep, I avoid them.

Fair Weather Friends reminds me of you.
I'm beginning to miss everything about you lately.
Maybe you can teach me to push clutch like you always promised?

"So I have to ask you a question, because in class when you said you rip your skin off, I have to know, when you rip it off, do you start from your cunt or your eyeballs?"

10 hours to Yuma.
Averaging 80 degrees.

Ready?
Yep.

Why?
It's just somewhere else to explore.

symbols from my re-accuring dream

Couldn"t find anything about what it meant to rip off your skin. but i did find these.



Abandonment

To dream that you are abandoned, suggests that it is time to leave behind past feelings and characteristics that are hindering your growth. Let go of your old attitudes. A more direct and literal interpretation of this dream indicates you have a fear of being deserted, abandoned, or even betrayed. It may stem from a recent loss or a fear of losing a loved one. The fear of abandonment may manifest itself into your dream as part of the healing process and dealing with losing a loved one. It may also stem from unresolved feelings or problems from childhood. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are feeling neglected or that your feelings are being overlooked. Perhaps the dream is a metaphor that you need to approach life with "reckless abandon" and live more freely.



Blood

To see blood in your dream, represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments. If you see the word "blood" written in your dream, then it may refer to some situation in your life that is permanent and cannot be changed. If something else is written in blood, then it represents the energy you have put into a project. You have invested so much effort into something that you are not willing to give it up.

To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you. Women often dream of blood or of someone bleeding, shortly before or during their periods or while they are pregnant.

To dream that others are bleeding, signifies an emotional cry for help.

To dream that you are drinking blood, indicates that you have a fresh burst of vitality and power.

To dream that you are giving or donating blood, suggests that you are feeling physically drained due to stress.



Forest

To dream that you are in or walking through the forest, signifies a transitional phase. Follow your instincts. Alternatively, it indicates that you want to escape to a simpler way of life. You are feeling weighed down by the demands of your life.

To dream that you are lost in a forest, indicates that you are searching through your unconscious for a better understanding of yourself.

To dream of a forest fire, indicates that transformation and regeneration is only possible through some hardships. Alternatively, it suggests that your anger is out of control; it is affecting those around you.

:I'm stressed about finals



"Just slay it. Slay it and then you can be a badass."

Oh philosophy...

Freud suggests that "Religious beliefs and practices are the consequence of emotional needs for authority and protection"

Feuerbach claims that religion is an "objectification of the most primitive needs of man."


Campbell argues that the mythological game of "as if" sets aside the laws of time and opens up new levels of reality to the participant.

"Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue

Home's face: how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago

And all you see is where else you could be When you're at home
And out on the street Are so many possibilities to not be alone

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear <----------
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need
Cause you knew you were finally free


Cause all you see is where else you could be, When you're at home
Out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone
And all you see is where else you could be,
when you're at home,
There on the street,
are so many possibilities to not be alone" -Death Cab

everyone is freaking out about finals

except me.

something is wrong with me.